July 3, 08 9:54pm
I was raised to believe I had no needs. I've read how boys are commonly raised in the US. They are told from quite early on that they are not hungry, they are not cold, they are not whatever they claim to be. With repetition, shouting, intimidation, swatting, slapping, spanking, young boys are taught to deny their feelings. Then, in order to preserve their sanity, they learn to deny they are denying.
This double-burial of feelings leaves a boy looking like some kind of stalwart, never bitch and moan, GI Joe character. But operating without feelings has complications. One thing: feelings hidden don't actually disappear. They stop being recognizable. The boy doesn't know what it is that is making him sweat, shudder or cry, but he knows he must end it, or strike out to divert attention from it. There is fear of feelings when they start to appear. There can be a life spent believing there are no feelings but hunger and anger. There is the frustration of women unable to get an accurate answer to, "how are you feeling?". And men's lack of concern about it.
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