21 June 11:59PM
I believe the famous phrase "spare the rod and spoil the child" is the greatest single cause of astonishing brutality toward children. I also believe there is no agreement about what "spoiling" a child is, except it is to be avoided.
The phrase "spare the rod" unclearly suggests you reconsider how little you are beating your kid. It proposes open-ended ferocity. The words recommend only intensification of whatever you are doing.
Exercise: Out of earshot of any children, place a pillow in front of you, on your bed. Standing beside the bed, or kneeling on it, punch the pillow with one hand, then the other. Now, develop a rhythm, punching as you say "spare...the...rod...spare...the...rod" over again and again. Go ahead and lose count, punch harder, get winded. Do that for 30 seconds to one minute.
Notice how conducive to kicking that pillow's butt those words are.
Now if it felt good to do it, maybe two or three times a day, out of earshot of any child, beat that pillow to feather-dust.
When the therapeutic value impresses you, maybe you can introduce any children in your life to this wonderful release. Maybe you can bond as you get out your pent up aggravation, then go have milk and cookies together and talk about your days.
Then your kid looks forward to pillow beating time and the subsequent treat and bonding.
When you have that kind of bonding, your little one will surprise you with heartfelt questions. If you're like I was, you'll start raising your game in preparation for surprising insight and inquisitiveness from this tiny being. "Dad, I think Gramma is a hard person to argue with." Or questions you might never have even considered. "Dad, when is a fight over?"
But you'll love it.
No comments:
Post a Comment