Intervention by Support

June 23, 2008 The Supermarket Incident

Once I was in a supermarket with my son, then about four, as we encountered a woman having trouble quieting her two or three year old boy. I believe he was hungry and was upset at the length of the trip and no snack. Mom just couldn't get him to shut up, and I could see that she was concerned about appearances in some way.

She jerked the kid out of the shopping cart seat, set him on his feet, took him by the wrist and headed for the door. I had a bad feeling that the raging mom was going to drub the hungry little fart once outside the store.

Jake and I got in step with them a car-length behind and followed them outside. Mom stopped him between a couple of parked cars and turned for a parental assault when Jake and I stepped up behind her and stopped.

Her little guy was now a model child and perfectly quiet. I told her I'd seen her frustration at his actions, and it looked like she could use some moral support. She said she brought him outside to discipline him privately, to keep from embarrassing him. I believed she didn't want to be confronted by any strangers for a violent outburst--but kept that to myself.

I talked slowly and modeled calm, talked to her little boy, found out he was tired and hungry. I recommended some crackers to stave off such displays and gave her some. I remember my boy and hers listening to me and watching us both. I told her I'd learned from my ex that a snack before and a snack along with you can keep outbursts to a minimum.

We went back into the store with the agreement that she'd finish as fast as she could and they'd get out of there. There was no spanking, and no further outburst from her tot. I think I left having offered support and a temporary solution while not shaming or blaming anyone, and not making it worse for the little guy later. My son thought it was cool.